Few people enter into a relationship with the express intention of committing infidelity. However, the harrowing reality is that cheating is just a part of modern dating. In fact, anywhere from 13 to 16 percent of individuals in their early to mid-20s have slept with someone else while in a relationship, according to research from the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. Of course, you can’t just avoid relationships altogether in fear of your partner cheating on you. But what you can do is learn the tells of infidelity. For instance, you’ll want to be careful if your partner starts getting overly curious about when you’ll be home, as this could be a sign that they’re doing things they don’t want you to know about. And if they ever ask you about your thoughts on cheating—well, it’s safe to assume that if they ask about cheating, then it’s on their mind. Herein, we’ve gathered tips from relationship experts nationwide to round up some common things people will say if they want to cheat (or if they already are).
1. “What would you do if I cheated on you…hypothetically?”
If your partner ever says something like this, then you should consider that it’s something they’re genuinely thinking about doing, or at least that they’re not happy in the relationship on its currently trajectory. These hypothetical conversations often lead to “unintentional cheating,” which both partners should be hyperaware of.
2. “Do you like my new haircut?”
If your partner has had the same haircut for a decade but comes home one day with a bold new ‘do, this could indicate an effort to impress another person. And it’s not just a new haircut you should be on the lookout for. Any big changes in appearance, like losing weight, buying new clothes, or starting to wear makeup more often, could be an indication that your S.O. is starting to stray.
3. “How exactly did you manage to clean the dishes wrong? You’re so stupid!”
Though the partner cheating (or thinking about cheating) is in the wrong, they are often also the one in the relationship trying to bring the other person down and causing issues, thanks to their own guilt over their thoughts and/or actions. Often someone who is cheating is feeling a lot of guilt. Your partner can easily take out this shame on you by making you feel bad about yourself. If your partner has suddenly become more hostile and aggressive with no reasonable explanation, you might want to sit down with them and assess the longevity of your relationship.
4. “Sorry I haven’t texted today, work was really busy.” Your partner used to text you every hour on the hour, but now they’re using “too much work” as an excuse to be MIA all day. If this sounds familiar, then be careful. It could be a red flag that infidelity is on the horizon. If your partner withdraws attention, then he or she might be giving it to other people. For example, if you used to get a lot of text messages and 
photos throughout the day but that suddenly stops with no explanation, someone else might be getting that attention.
5. “I’m going to be traveling a lot more for work.”
Even if your spouse hasn’t ever considered cheating before, a promotion at work that offers them many opportunities to travel could mean trouble in paradise. Unfortunately, disposable income combined with work travel make cheating convenient, and so it’s best to discuss this possibility before it even happens. Powerful people have many opportunities—with travel, higher income, etc.—to both be offered and conceal infidelity. If your partner is taking a position that will increase their travel, it is worth talking about your expectations regarding sex.
6. “Work was fine.”
When a relationship isn’t working out, you might find your partner is sharing less and less with you. You used to hear about their day at work, and now it’s mostly just, ‘Nothing much happened.’ Sharing is a sign of closeness and connection—and when that deteriorates, it’s a sign that you are becoming more disconnected instead.“What time do you think you’ll be home tonight?”
Some spouses just want to know when their husband or wife is coming home because they miss them and can’t wait to see them. Less honorable spouses, however, could be checking in because they want to know how much time they have to sneak around or, if they aren’t cheating yet, just explore the idea of being with someone else through dating apps or online chat rooms.
7. “I don’t think I’d consider that cheating, per se.”
Rarely do partners have a clear and honest conversation about exactly what behaviors they consider to be unfaithful and that sometimes leads to unintentional cheating. Of course, this doesn’t apply to cheating in the traditional sense, but refers more to emotional cheating or overstepping the boundary between friendship and something more. If you want your partner to stay faithful, it is essential that you sit down with them and clarify precisely what ‘cheating’ entails.
8.“What time do you think you’ll be home tonight?”
Some spouses just want to know when their husband or wife is coming home because they miss them and can’t wait to see them. Less honorable spouses, however, could be checking in because they want to know how much time they have to sneak around or, if they aren’t cheating yet, just explore the idea of being with someone else through dating apps or online chat rooms.
9.“I just feel like you don’t appreciate me.”
A person’s insecurities can interfere with their relationships in many major ways. Not only will an insecure person question whether they’re worthy of being in a relationship and create problems that don’t exist, but often times they will also seek validation in other places—namely, by cheating with other people. In doing this, this person is seeking to boost their self-confidence and confirm that they’re good enough, with no regard for the effects this might have on their relationship.
